Reflections on 9/11
I don't remember the details of the last dream I had before life changed forever on Tuesday, September 11. I do know that since that day, my dreams have been replaced by torturous nightmares that wake me mercilessly when I finally do manage to fall asleep. I see the horrible images of the carnage every time I close my eyes. I replay the stories of the final phone calls to loved ones, and of the grief-stricken people left behind.
America watched in horror that day as it was cruelly and cowardly attacked by an enemy who lurks in the shadows. Over the next few days I struggled with the reality of what had just happened to our country. I watched or listened to the news greedily, trying to understand. I continued to work, I kept in touch with my colleagues and friends in New York, and I did what I imagine many people did those first days after the unspeakable tragedy: I cried and I prayed.
What I noticed over those first few days was how deeply everyone was affected by the attack on our nation. People were numb and nobody wanted to be alone. It was all anyone could talk about. People needed to talk about it. I noticed that people were going slower in the days that followed. No one seemed to be in such a rush anymore. Perhaps we were all looking around a little harder and starting to understand how precious life really is. Or perhaps we simply forgot how to function normally after witnessing the worst kind of evil on our own soil.
It doesn't matter right now who you are in America: rich, poor, famous, anonymous. Every soul in this country has been touched by this unspeakable tragedy. Whether or not you know someone who was killed, injured, or even present in New York, Washington, or Pennsylvania, we have all been touched. We as Americans have been so insulated from this type of evil. We have an ocean on either side of us that have generally protected us from this type of terror. We've never known the type of evil that we experienced that awful Tuesday morning. These unspeakable, horrendous, unfathomable acts happen in other places. Now it's been brought to our shores. It's come into our home. How can we ever feel safe again?
I listened and talked with friends those first days about our feelings. One friend, a former Marine, told me that he was so full of rage that he wanted our military to "strike down like the hand of God." I understood his response. I had experienced some of the same thoughts myself. After the initial shock had worn off, it was replaced by an anger that gnawed at the pit of my stomach and made it difficult to breathe. You don't spill American blood and get away with it. But on whom do we exact our revenge? The faceless enemy haunts us. I said to my friend the only words I could think of at the time. I told him that even as I wept for the lives lost, my heart was full of pride as the citizens of this great country pulled together and held our heads high above this devastating act of cowardice.
Ground Zero, New York
is a war zone. The skyline has been devastated almost beyond recognition. There
is a palpable absence where the mighty Twin Towers once stood and a grief-laden
silence hangs in the air and has traveled through the ether to touch every
corner of our world.
There are reasons to be incensed at our government's actions in dealing with rogue regimes such as the Taliban. But none of that matters right now. Our government has never been perfect. But the one thing those cowardly terrorists didn't count on was the fact that while we've long felt free and easy about the world in which we live, and while we may have become a bit too complacent, when you attack Americans we fight like cornered animals. What they don't understand is that we don't live in America, America lives in us. The American Spirit and American Resolve are mighty and powerful, and when you incur our wrath the fabric of our society is not torn, but rather made stronger.
The pulse of the country was weakened that horrible day. It became faint even as we held our collective breath in anticipation of more violence. But make no mistake, it is detectable and it will rebound stronger than ever. The heart of America will make it so.
Bystanders form a shield of dignity around the vulnerable ones. I have no doubt that the citizens of this great country will rise to meet this challenge. After all, our flag is still there.